Following rediscovered. October 19, 2008.

I had another great lesson with my teacher today.
After the last week's one, dancing immediately started feeling better.

With everybody, except my teacher.

He and I danced quite a bit in milongas during the week. From my perspective, I felt out of control, my posture was awkward, my legs were too constricted, my feet in the way of his, etc etc. By Saturday, I threw a towel in, and settled for being with him on the floor, enjoying the music (he was DJ-ing that night, mixing very soothing, romantic, sexy sets). Basically, during the last tandas I proceeded to just melt (while probably collapsing my core, dragging feet, and overall moving sloppily) in his embrace.

The next day in the lesson a miracle happen. I could not remember when it had been the last time dancing with him or anybody else, when following a lead made me so unconditionally happy. It had been a while, for sure.
I was able to step smoothly, keep the connection, follow precisely, pivot effectively, and move my hips promptly. My posture, the head position did not bother me anymore.
Of course, as the lesson progressed, the teacher started introducing more complicated stuff. I began screwing up. We had to stop here and there, and go over the details. I also got tired. So by the end, I somewhat reverted to the old ways. But all in all, it was a great lesson. It felt like a breakthrough.

Driving home, I was thinking about what had I done differently that day versus the whole previous week, when it did not feel so stellar. I could not come up with anything specific. Therefore, I decided to memorize the good feeling I had while dancing with him that day, and seek it in the future.

Connection rediscovered. October 12, 2008.

I had a very important lesson with my teacher today. I think he found the solution to my posture problem as well as my missing the leads.
He had already started me awhile ago on being more centered. In dancing with him it would translate in my leaning more to the open side of the embrace, getting information from that side. In all movements, I have to counter balance by providing resistance to the direction opposite to the movement. Sometimes it is tricky, as the direction changes, and I have to switch quickly.
Today the teacher made me move to his lead, trying to match exactly the movement of my free leg with the power provided by his leg pushing off the floor. At the same time, I had to glide the moving foot on the surface of the floor as long as possible. I tend to cut my steps short, which made landings abrupt.
Already, as I tried in the lesson, the connection felt so much stronger. I was more balanced, and both my leader and I felt more in control. It felt like I had plenty of time, even though we were moving much faster. The pivots and changes of directions were just happening without me hesitating or thinking one bit.
In "carousseles" and such I still, for one, have to follow with both sides, and secondly, match my free foot with the pushing power of the leader's movement. I discovered, even when my free foot was embellishing, I was pretty capable of doing that.
So, in practice to come, I will be concentrating on those three concepts.
I am happy, and looking forward to further dancing and practicing. Just when I had thought for the last few weeks that I was plateauing !
I am very excited.

Update: Interestingly, I find these old notes from the lessons very useful for me, both as a student, and as someone helping others to improve their dancing.

Tango, por favor. October 7, 2008.

I have not danced much for the last two weeks, due to the first seasonal cold I caught. A couple of week prior to that, on the contrary, I had more dancing than usual, sometimes six nights a week. All these time I was getting a lot of the floor time with my teacher. He said it would be in preparation for a performance we ultimately gave. For that very reason he was not correcting me much during our lessons. We just danced a lot.
The result of it was the growing connection, and feeling very comfortable with his lead. Unfortunately, I never had a chance to see any video, so I am not sure how it translated into the way my dancing looked. Did it change a lot, somewhat or not at all? The teacher says when it feels good it is supposed to look so, too. But while I agree that a couple obviously into each other and enjoying the dance is certainly a nice sight to see, it is not necessarily elegant or professionally looking. And of course, I would like to look the part at least somewhat, when I am dancing not just for my partner, but performing for other people.
At least good thing the virus does not hit me before le jour J.
I took it easy while the teacher was traveling. Now he is back, and talking about another performance. For me right now it means more practice. It is always welcome.
I feel like I really have to clean up my basics, walk, weight shifts, and especially, pivots. Lately I noticed I tend to have troubles with following front ochos when I am in a cross forward position to my partner-- timing them, maintaining my balance and connection to the partner. Especially I have had awkward moments when I got to step forward after a milonguero dip. It often feels like I am not stepping at the right time, either too soon or too late, and I am not sure how to address the matter.
Last Sunday I got to dance with some new people. I am not sure how well it went. I screwed up a few times. The whole experience was rather pleasant for me, and everybody was exquisitely nice, so I have no idea how much they minded.
I am going to a milonga tonight where those people might be present. That makes me think about whether or not they would ask me again, and if they don't that would be because they did not like my dancing the first time... These thoughts are really silly and unproductive. Been in the scene for two years, I should know better by now. People might not ask you to dances for many reason, most of which have nothing to do with the way you dance. Therefore, I better eat something, paint my toenails, and not worry about things that are not under my control whatsoever.

En Action. September 16, 2008.

I got a lot of dancing lately. There is more to come.
Because the lady instructor is out of town, I had a chance to spend more than usual time on the floor with my teacher. It was both pleasant and effective. I believe I finally resolved the "head battle" problem. If I do not arch my back and hold myself straight with a slight forward angle, my head does not tilt, and it is not in the way of his. The posture is the most important thing for me right now.

Last night we had a great group class. The teacher used me to demonstrate. It was wonderful to listen to his instruction and go through the movement at the same time. I wish I could have that more often.

Next challenge for me would be to free my movement, to let the hips go. I control them too much, constricting the movement, cutting the steps short.

Todavia. August 12, 2008.

My second tango anniversary is approaching. Still learning, working on improving the dance. Still going to milongas, dancing with old partners, and new ones. Still having the usual ups and downs.

Working with my primary teacher has become a routine, and been quite productive. He is also my only regular practice partner nowadays. I appreciate having him in that capacity.

One point of concentration for me right now is my posture and axis.
With the teacher, due to our height difference (or lack thereof), I am still struggling with finding the right head position, comfortable for him and myself, allowing me to follow effectively, to have a nice straight posture, and to keep my balance. With others, who are most of the time taller than I am, the struggle becomes more about how I hold my torso.

In general, slowing down, delaying the response, moving my feet smoothly, shifting my weight more slowly do wonders for my follow. I will keep concentrating on that.
In the last lesson, the teacher mentioned that when he releases me a little in the embrace, I have to take longer step. I also have to remember the inner edge rule, and turning the foot more out for better balance.

Last week I took a group lesson with G. His instructions have proved to be extremely useful for me in the past. And this time, again. I like the way he presents and explains things. For example, while talking about the walk, he suggested thinking of the standing leg as the force pushing the whole body up, like a spring. I have to keep pushing up, supporting the body all the way through the movement. So, when the other foot lands, I don't fall on it. Keeping the springiness in the standing leg provides the soft, smooth and silent landing.

Also, upon leading me, he noticed that I was collapsing my core while going backward. That gives a feeling of my going away from my partner, not being present enough, the embrace emptying. I have to hold the torso up with my core muscles, as if filling the partner's right arm, to provide a nice feedback.

Will that imagery help me to finally get rid of my bad habit of arching my back? I really hope so.

So far, the first tip about the standing leg has worked very well. I am not so sure about the second one, is what I am trying to do is working and feeling the way it is supposed to. But I certainly became more aware of my collapsing and losing the connection on some turns, and I will try to eliminate that.

I have to add mandatory abs and lats exersises into my fitness routine.

Unfortunately, I tend to collapse the body when I am in the zone, but I guess taking care of that will just be a matter of time and training.

Right now I feel my dancing is changing, and the positive changes manifest themselves here and there, inconsistently. Moreover, good moments made me more aware of the not-so-good ones that now feel even worse by comparison. It is like I already had a glimpse of what I can do, but so far I am not given the full grip on it. That said, I just have to be patient, focus on the positive, on things that go well, and not get frustrated over my inabilities.

On a social front, I decided to give myself a break. Figuratively, not literally. I think I have to become a little more selfish. It is time to remember that I did not sign up to be a super hero in this life. I am a mere human, with many human weaknesses. I have to remind myself that if something does not feel right, it is not necessarily always my fault. And that it is OK to avoid certain people if they make me feel bad. I do not have to face the challenges all the time, and deal with them whenever. Sometimes it is OK to flash the water down. To let go.

Notebook. July 15, 2008.

Skipped the private with my primary teacher last week, to catch up the other instructor on one of his volatile visits to the area. The lesson was very educative and productive, as it always is with him.

I had some not well-formed questions in my mind about things I had been struggling with in my dancing. But as usual, I just let him teach and fix whatever he thought was the most flagrant. And as usual, I got several very important answers to the very questions I had. He seems to understand my struggles even better than I do. I think I found myself a great teacher.

First note would be about timing and being late on some steps and pivots. The teacher said that I have to go from foot to foot more decisively, and not end up keeping my weight in between or leaving some of it on the foot I am parting from. That foot has to be completely free of weight, to be able to do an embellishment or a sacada or whatever comes. And to be balanced, I have to arrive completely on my axis. Sometimes I have to go to the point of destination with the hip, as there is no time to make a graduate transfer. That point was already made once by G. , but not fully understood by me at the time, and now it makes perfect sense.

On the turns and pivots, I have to turn my hips to the direction of the movement first, and then make a step. And do not be lazy pivoting, more energy. That brought us to the not-so-new discovery, that my hips and are not completely free and relaxed, as they are supposed to be in tango. I tend to tuck and crook and stiffen, especially on the more complicated moves.

The general rule here would be, the connection between the torso and the hips has to become very very long and relaxed. Everything above the waist grows up, everything underneath drops down. The body is like a tree, the top reaching for the sky, the roots growing into the ground. I have to monitor and eliminate the shortening and the curling in my body.

Another area I tend to close is the left shoulder. I also have to remember about the arms being relaxed, and about the connection with the leader's body coming from the palms, not from the entire arms.

The teacher gave me other images to think about, like my entire body hanging from a skull, or my legs being long like a daddy-long-legs' . Even when I am making tiny step, there is that feeling of my legs and the whole body being long, free and being able to produce the amplitude. I have to make a video and see if imagining all those things translates into the actual changes in movements.

More things to pay attention to: keeping the feet in contact with the floor at all times, looking for that groundness; the right side boleo works better, remember that feeling and seek the same while doing the left side boleo. On ganchos, free and articulate the hip joint, not the knee.

In general, turn, twist, flex the knees on boleos more. The movement has to become more free, more "oily". This is a very familiar refrain. Amazing how I get stuck with the same thing in tango I used to struggle in ballroom with.

On the bright side, I seemed to follow him better than in our previous lessons. So, perhaps, there is some improvement.

To shange the topic slightly, I have been revising my milonga strategies. I have come to the conclusion thatI better just not take certain things close to heart.
After all, they only harm me if I let them. They are not important indeed. Instead of trying to avoid them at all cost, I can chose to laugh them off.

Otra. Posted on June 23, 2008.

Another lesson with my primary teacher, after a two-week break.

Some highlights:

I still shift my weight too fast from foot to foot sometimes. Sometimes the going foot ends up in the wrong place, just because I start the leg movement too soon. Remember to delay and go with the body first. Ironically, that is when the step comes out nicer and longer. In general, I have to think in terms of staying more on the standing foot and with the leader, not in terms of going.

For the forward step, I have to approach it in two stages. The foot is sliding forward without weight placement. Before the weight changes, my body stretches, following the leader's body, as I let the leader actually lead the weight shift. The back leg stays behind longer. It feels like I make the leader move my delaying hip, for the lack of better explanation.
I noticed a funny thing. I was afraid to stick my foot forward, as if I might lose control over it. But at the same time, I realized, if there is no weight on that foot, if the whole weight stays on the standing foot, that is where the control is. I can retrieve the foot ( if the lead calls for it) as long as it remains free of weight.

Another point I have to think about is the inner edge of the foot on the floor. Even though my weight is on the ball of the foot, that's the inside of the leg/heel that leads the movement. This is one thing I will monitor during the group lesson tomorrow.

Also, I tend to lose connection when the leader pauses me, especially in crosses. Also it happens when I pass in front of him from one side to another. Got to remember leaning forward and toward the middle of the "cone" our bodies are forming.

At one moment my right hand being too rigid got in the way of the step he was leading. It is amazing how concentrating on the lead, not on tensing or moving my members, on the contrary, relaxing them helps the dance flow.

I was not happy with myself during the lesson. My head position was uncomfortable, the right arm felt twisted. I was arching my back, was not sure at times of what I was doing with my feet. But somehow, some steps felt better than the others. As the lesson progressed, I relaxed and ended up producing more of those nice feeling smooth steps.

My teacher who said it was getting better every time was probably right. It is just, now I expect more, of myself, and of how the dance is supposed to feel.

Lately, I know, it sounds as a broken record. I repeat the same observations about my mistakes from the private lessons in every entry. Yes, I have been working on the same problems over and over. But I believe my dancing is improving, by small increments. My other teacher once said that all our tango life we keep working on the same things, just on different levels, so I should not feel bad about repetitions.

I am looking forward to tomorrow's class as an opportunity to practice.